Yea, it's been a while since I wrote. I didn't read what my last journal was about. And I don't really care. It's been an interesting past few months since then, so much has happened and so many things have changed while other things haven't changed a bit. Where to start?

First off, I have learned so much, about what you ask? Simply everything. The knowledge I've gained about myself, my life and the people I surround myself with at this point, almost ALMOST (not all the way just almost) frightens me. I think it scares me because as a person I feel wiser and I guess it comes down to its scary growing up. But then again, doesn't everyone feel that way? - Of course.

Let me just say this though, I feel as though I'm getting to the point to where I am living for myself and only myself now (family and a few close friends included). I see some of the other friends/people that I keep in my life and I think how happy I am to own my shoes. I say the word "own" because I may not have everything I want right now, but thats part of growing up and growing as a person, I like who I am and I know i'll continue to grow. I wouldn't trade the steps I've made because those chances I took, venturing into the unknown are what made me who I am now. I am true to myself above it all, and I think thats one of the most important things in life.

I see the world around me and I see all the drama and the miniscule problems that people complain about, I think to myself why does any of that matter when you could change it? When you are the only one that has the power to make things better for yourself. I think too many of us focus on those little problems and forget to look at the big picture. No one is perfect and I am very far from it, but if you stay true it makes life so much better. I used to worry about how people viewed me and the decisions I make but once I started to live for myself, thats when the things in life that I always wanted came true.

It's funny that all it takes is yourself. That's what I've been hearing at least. It's true through, if you are too scared to change something you will never grow. But, if you take off running you might not know where your headed or where you'll end up, but at least you did something. That's what I'm doing now, I haven't taken off running exactly, more like a steady even pace...but the steps I've taken have made a huge difference in my life. And I am grateful that I found the power and determination within myself to make those changes.

One of my friends once said "Katie, I noticed whenever you meet someone new, you get so preoccupied with trying to show someone how much you care about them but forget about yourself " (those might now be the exact words, but they were along the lines of that) And truthfully I felt dumbfounded! Such a simple statement that was so true and life changing.

After my friend said that it really opened my mind and I began to look back on all the things I did for those people I fell in love with, but it was all for them none of it was for me. Sure making people happy truly makes me happy, but thats not all. In that process I did forget about myself, I forgot about all the plans I had, the things I wanted to do and the things I wanted to experience. Since those words I have been a lot more at peace with myself. I take a step back and look at things through my own eyes and how I feel deep down, only then will I make my decision.


Life Lessons.